i'm feeling utterly cynical today. seems nothing can go right. i've lost my sanity by a thread, and i feel like i could just buy myself a ticket and fly to Auckland to see Mal. that's all i want to do right now.

*sigh* reality pulls me down.
like an iron strapped to my ankle.

i felt relieved when i quit last week. and it was fine for the first few days. but now that i've hit one week and no one has sent me any news of my job applications, i'm about to hit the panic button... i'm beginning to think it was a mistake. *sigh* i prayed about it, and He told me to trust Him. but how long can my nerves take it? its just my human nature taking the worry-path. i asked Mal if i made the right decision leaving. he said, "yea, otherwise you'd find yourself buying a handbang!" there's putting light to the situation. heh. =P

its just the whole $$$ issue that's beginning to eat me up. and you know what?! i'd been rejected 3 times to get a credit card, and finally when my mom agreed to give me a supplementary card and it arrives, so do 2 more cards from the bank that approved my car loan! eessh... now what am i going to do with 3 cards? @_@ and its not helping - the temptation to buy a plane ticket and fly to NZ...

i met up with Damien Tuesday. and he was asking me about the guy i keep talking about in my blog. he wasn't sure if it was the same Green Satria Boy he met. i was so amused when he thought it was someone else. he always seem to have this idea in his head about me being a mistress! =/ geez...