my life's in a rut right now. don't know what i want to do, don't know what i want. just feeling very agitated and restless with everything. maybe it's my impatience of wanting it all... and eventually, feeling like i've nothing at all. *sigh*

'Mal and I are sort of with an argument or irritated with each other at the moment. i figured i think we're misunderstanding each other as annoyed about something. yesterday, when we saw each other online, i was just too tired to say anything. he on the other hand was just too cranky to say anything as well. we barely said anything nice or sweet. and just went offline. *sigh*

i hate that we're not talking to each other much the last 48 hrs. even the SMS' have dwindled. i really hate long distance relationships with a vengeance. i don't know why i'm going through this... =~(

work's a rut now as well. i started at this new place end July. this production house does quite a bit of work for a local TV station. big name productions - mostly syndicated programmes. good for my resume and experience - but i can't quite stand the office environment. =( working with 7 other girls in a production office is almost hell. not just the PMS-ing, as Dino (one of the two only males in the office) would put it, its also the attitudes and girly talks i cannot stand! all the gossiping and oogling over the male species. argh... these are the juvenile behaviour i so dread to be around with. and these people hardly do or even know their work. i'm begining too see cronism at work here. hey! i'm a workaholic. and i love my work! being around women who constantly come in to the office dreadfully late and just sit on their asses all day to gossip is not exactly the kind of workmates i love to work with! *argh*

i really can't decide what to do right now. i've officially committed myself to a responsible adult when i adopted my first set of wheels early this month! yes, everyone - meet Wendy - the moment i get a pic of her =P she's a wonderfully economical dark grey 1.3 Proton Iswara... that already got me travelling at 1400+ kms in the last three weeks! gawd! i love her... but i'm also beginning to feel the pinch of paying for petrol, and soon enough the installments to owning her =) heh. the idea of having my own car was quite surreal to me the first week. i was like... "what time should i wake up to catch a cab to work tomorrow?- waitaminute.. i've a car!" sometimes while driving, and thinking of where to go and how to get there... i still have to let it sink in that i'm driving my own car!! really... she's swell.

my brother drove Wendy for the first time last nite. gawd... and it wasn't without worries! i was so fretting if he'll drive her well... and imagine the $$ i'd have to fork out if anything goes wrong! daarngit! i'm a responsible adult now... eeesh...