my days feel empty. and the irony is that i've chose it. i've chosen to be unhappy. but i guess i have to do this for myself. i don't know the reasons, but i've to put my faith in a future i can't see.

i didn't want to get out of bed today. i felt content staring at the ceiling. but i knew i had to go to church. i went with my parents to Mass, first time in almost two months sitting in my dad's car. heh. but the day had seem quiet. in my mind and surroundings.
sitting at the back pew, i noticed someone familiar on my far right. it was Adrian Chong and his gf Michelle. later, on the left corner of my eye, i saw Gary. *sigh* i was just hoping Jon wasn't sitting behind me. i think the last thing i wanted right now being surrounded by my past. after Mass, i was hoping to say hi to Adrian, but Michelle seemed to be shuffling him out quickly, so i didn't bother.

everyone seemed to be around this evening, i walked out and saw Adrian Lim. started wondering why i'm suddenly surrounded by old friends. yesterday, talking with James again. then tonite, had dinner with Adrian. drove around a while. and i kept thinking about that hill that Mal and i used to go to watch the stars. the simpler things made me happy with him. i wished things were just like that.

but i know i have to move on. even if my heart was going to be left behind.