it's been one helluva strange day today. emotions rushing from one end of the spectrum to the other. the day started in detachment as i woke up after 4 hours of sleep to go to for morning Mass to catch Gary's Rite of Elect. yea, despite the break up, i still feel obligated to support him through his journey to his baptism. only God knows my reasons. maybe one that makes me wonder if the break-up was the right thing. i mean, i did pray that Gary would be baptised in the event of marriage looming in the distance. apparently, that didn't quite work out, did it? mmm... dad always said my prayers were always answered. it was a blessing i've had since birth...

came home after Mass, waiting for Tania's call. wanted to have lunch and some girl talk with her. wasn't quite up to going to st. john's with Gary and Colin cos i was quite sleepy and just needed a nice talking with. (i fell asleep waiting for her call.) that happened way later in the afternoon, after a little shopping and browsing and an interesting conversation with her mom... lol... after her mom left, we had a jug of vodka seabreeze at TSB... (no, i'm still not an alcky!) man, was i high... i think i didn't have enough in my tummy to stomach the alcohol... *giggle* anyway, the conversation did me good. talked about the break up, asked Tania how Gary told her abt it (yes, he seemed to be doing the announcements and behaving like nothing happened with me... *sigh* maybe he's trying to get attention or sympathy from others. but frm my friends? =( ), considered going for another island holiday to Redang this time (lol! talk abt being ladies of leisure!) and some whole other stuff...
especially the bits about the kind of guys i tend to attract as compared to hers... hahah... if it was as true as what Rachel and Dawn said (the nite before while at Jessima mamak), that my smile takes the bait, i told Tania i'd consider plastic surgery! lol... can't tell if it's a curse or a blessing that i tend to attract guys who want a long term committment with me... she forbade me to do that so she could at least live a decent (dating) life through me... LoL! like crazy teenagers, Tania whipped out her handphone to call up Jurgen (the German guy we met at Tioman) and pass the phone to me, only to have her call rejected... i then tried on mine, and he picked up! hahaha... conversation didn't last long. it was funny tho. Tania immediately deleted his number from her phonebook! as if we were almost like drunk teenage girls making crank calls... heheh... i must admit, i do feel like i'm living like a teenager (with her own earnings) at this age than when i was actually a teenager.

anyway, i had to rush home and return the car... i was in a high... dizzy... felt like the world was moving under my feet... drove at 110km/h home... plonked onto bed after making a short call to Aqmal... i wonder if i said anything weird... last thing i remembered was recalling Bridget Jones's drunk diary entries...

woke up to phone ringing. dad asking me what i wanted for dinner. lol... i'm pretty sure i said nasi lemak and chicken. you'd think someone drunk at 5pm and waking up with a hangover two hours later would still have her sanity... *giggle* had a 'cold' shower, then dinner which made the acid content of my tummy a lil worse...
then when to the doxob mamak thing...

hehe... itinery for the day. it doesn't quite describe the emotional topsy turvy i feel from this morning to right now... but i guess it'll do. because i am rather wordless at the moment. today's been a real breezer of a day to actually stop and think my emotions over. especially after last nite... sometimes, you just have to be careful with what you wish for. especially whenever i tell myself that life's getting a little too boring... mmm...