emotional rollercoasters, sleepless nights, endless worries...
and all I can think of now is Japan.

it's been a crazy three months for sure. and crazy is just a mild word to even begin to describe those months! and it all has to end, with Japan.

i can't be in deisbelief anymore as i can only think of how thankful i am to one person. my heartbrokenness, sleepless worries, all swept away by awe... and the feeling of flight and grace. Lord, for the long years i've put you aside in my life, thank you. i don't know where i would be without you, even though i had put you in the back seat of my life. i knew you were there. taking for granted, you. but you've provided so well. so much. so graciously. how can i even begin to speak?

over the impending thoughts of the ending of my three month contract with the present DM2 project, i'd been having sleepless nights, wondering where i would be a month from then. what would my future be like? will i be shifting careers? will i be jobless for a period of time? how will i help my family, my brother study? a self-less sacrifice to give to my bro what i can, what i have. only to wonder and worry. i told Him, once and for all, take these worries away please... it torments me so much not knowing where i will lay my head tomorrow. take care of my tomorrow, Lord, please.
and indeed He did.

early in the week, Ken msgs me to tell me to submit my resume for the long awaited channel v job. i finally feel a little more secure.
then, Jeremiah calls... he needs a scriptwriter. the project with Discovery is given the green light. the travel show to Japan.

i'm going to Japan. in and out for 12 months. I'M GOING TO JAPAN!!! *grin* okay, scriptwriter... finally, a job in English! heheh... and that's not all. i just found out i am also the director for the second camera unit now! and He gives in abundance!

this is unbelievable! a few weeks ago i was kicking myself for being a lousy director... and now.... now...
and ringing in my ears, is Jeremiah's words "you're only as good as your next job... not your past jobs." words to think about. words to thank God for.

i feel like it's all a dream, and that the reality would probably sink in the moment i'm on Japan soil... i mean, realistically, i've seen things in planning that never takes off. but do i need to be so cynical? after the trust and giving i've given to Him?

first things first, finish DM2, take a breather... then swallow the reality of "Japan's freaky festivals"... and i mean, freaky!