midnite lily's think deck v1

Sentimentalism

2006-02-04T18:48:00.000+08:00

--comes when you're close to celebrating your blog's 5th anniversary. I regret changing this blog's original name from midnite_lily.blogspot.com to adik-manis. gee, the things one does in haste.UPDATE: oh *sheepish grin* I managed to get midnite-lily.blogspot.com now.in any case -- i'm here at www.midnitelily.com

dead & gone

2005-08-14T02:56:00.000+08:00

today marks the day of my blog death. four years of the nocturnal lily. stripped.what do i do? who am i? am i conforming? i crave deep inside for an outlet. but i've made my profile too apparent that the people whom i wage slave for have found out, and now i cannot blog.i feel stupid. why did i give in? having merely given the request to remove all related things to the wage master made me feel

Immune system to the dogs

2004-06-01T18:16:00.000+08:00

I've been out of commission the last two weeks. First it was an acute gastric attack, then it was the flu. Now it's my miserable blog server and the guy who's hosting it has gone AWOL on me. So I've gotten myself a new server and I'm in the midst of moving whatever archived files I've got.So if anyone's come back to my good old blogger site, keep ****** in your bookmarks for future references

Back for a swig

2004-05-17T22:03:00.000+08:00

I couldn't resist coming back here. For old times sake. And since my present blog's server's offline. Blogger's got really funky new templates and stuff... So might as well.

Fortunes told by cookies

2002-12-28T05:24:00.000+08:00

i found a fortune cookie on the dining table earlier. mum brought it home from the wedding dinner dad & her went to tonite. i didn't resist breaking it open and while munching on the cookie, read the little computer printed paper-- "Life to you is a dashing and bold adventure" with little smiley faces at both ends. >_< bah... right now life is boring and i'm restless. i'm driving Mal crazy. he's

Agitation's in the air

2002-12-26T19:33:00.000+08:00

things at doxob's been agitating some of us moderators for a while. especially from one particular character. but i've decided to help Mal loosen up a bit and have a bit of fun in one of the threads. with the year's end, lots of things are coming up... y'know, best of 2002 sort of thing... tsk... and they've come up with a mr. doxob contest. so this is what i did... yea, and i've become his

Stuffed me

2002-12-26T18:42:00.000+08:00

it's damn humid!! O_o mebbe i should ask for snow, then i can start complaining it's damn ccccold! =P tsk tsk tsk... got stuffed again at Lorraine's. her mum served us so much dessert - chocolate cake, custard, fruit salad, apple crumble, soya jelly, sponge cake, cookies... *burrp* and to think i've still got another dinner tonite... James, Allen & gf - Felicia, Kenny & his bro - Kevin... were

Silent Christmas

2002-12-25T19:07:00.000+08:00

quiet Christmas... with potato salad, a skinny Malaysian turkey and more! >_< i think i'm even more stuffed than that turkey! i opened my pressies after Mass last night. Sharon got me a nice lamp from Ikea. while Mal got me Jostein Gaarder's Christmas Mystery. i've already read up to Dec 14th of the book... n_n Julia's last nite was nice. her dogs, Sweetie & Ebony were quite the hosts, and no

Curly locks

2002-12-24T03:27:00.000+08:00

ack... i got my period. right after i got my haircut! >_< had to shuffle all the way to the toilet while Mal went over to Watsons to get me a pack of sanitaries... heh...he said he heard some girls in the queue giggling. hmm.. told him he shoulda turned to them and said, "What would be funnier, is if i was buying a bra!" anyway, i cut my hair! my long curly locks are gone... no more curly sue.

Humdrummers

2002-12-23T03:16:00.000+08:00

my head hurts. days are humdrum happening as is -- even as Christmas approaches. how do i get myself into this Christmas spirit? - i'm wunderin again. just thinking i can't get ppl pressies this year makes me sad. i'm really tied-up financially, and digging into mum's resources. i can't go spending her money for pressies. it doesn't make sense. i know i'll return it later, but it's just not me.

Shout-outs and Shorts

2002-12-22T05:53:00.000+08:00

oh! and just a shoutout - Happy Birthday, Patrick! made quite a boo-boo asking him nonchalantly "what's happening tomorrow (today)?" >_< --just checked out my sitemeter referrals, and saw the strangest things that ppl searched up on google to bump into my page: malaysia+klcc+clip+art ? freaky+moving+picture+illusions ?? poems+about+pesimistic+guys ???! hey... isn't pessimist spelt with a double

2002-12-22T05:46:00.000+08:00

Sandra Bullock always makes me smile. just watched her in ">Two Week's Notice moments ago. i'm beginning to realise a pattern going on here with her choice of roles. i'm wondering if it's a personal statement of hers with acting in comedies - you know, Miss Congeniality, 28 Days, While you were sleeping... it always seem to start off with a lonely female lead who's rough around the edges, but

2002-12-20T03:57:00.000+08:00

how do you stop from letting what people say affect you? is it natural to want to make people understand you? to let them know what you're really like? what you're really doing? or should we just ignore the careless ramblings of these who don't stop to care? how do you keep from letting these words become personal?

2002-12-20T01:50:00.000+08:00

Christmas is less than a week away... and i hadn't done any shopping or sent any cards like i used to. *sigh* this whole Christmas spirit just grows out of you somewhat when you grow up. i remember those years back in high school just preparing for Christmas Nite. those carolling rehearsals, play practices, putting up decors... even putting up the Christmas tree at home hasn't happened anymore in

2002-12-19T18:44:00.000+08:00

yay! i'm surfing from home now. finally got the antenna fixed. seemed the previous contractor tied up the antenna to the water pipe, and it was unstable. so now i've got signals! woohoo... heheh... oh.. and i've to finish two scene treatments by tomorrow. psst.. one of them is Kopitiam.

2002-12-13T20:21:00.000+08:00

i clinched the POSTAM job! Peter called me yesterday after his meeting with the committee and they like what i had written. so now (as soon as i sign the papers) i'm officially POSTAM's e-newsletter's editor - or something. tsk... yesterday was an interesting day - had lunch with Arboon, Meng Yan, Seng Hau & Mal, and a nice dinner double date with Patrick & Edna. the days are getting busier now

2002-12-10T21:47:00.000+08:00

spent the whole afternoon at Shiroku working with Pete on the POSTAM e-newsletter. not that i'm tired out. i actually feel like i'm on a roll! heh. just a moment ago, Wind had asked me to write for him a short expose about someone who slandered Wind at the doxob forum. some people just don't have much sense. if you were planning to slander a person because you were affected, then the cause of

2002-12-09T18:42:00.000+08:00

hurr... Mal's still in Penang and won't be back til tomorrow! ho-hum... another night, anticipating another day. *sigh* i don't know what's up with me - and as cliched as its sounds - i think i'm in love all over again. >_< since Friday, i feel like i'm alive again. i really felt so humdrum detached from my excitement seeing him again after five months, but damn was i biting my nails at the

2002-12-05T21:04:00.000+08:00

the pressure's mounting. @_@ can you hear my heart thumping in anxiety and anticipation? i just read Bong's reply to my comments to a script. he likes that i've pin-pointed the problem areas. now he wants me and Mai-Ne to work with him to produce "an award-winning script out and ready for production by the end of the month/year." his exact words! omg! pressure! pressure! i'm basking in the

2002-12-05T16:43:00.000+08:00

gawd... domestic disputes in public! @_@ i've no idea what's going on, but this 50+ man is just harrasing this old woman while the couple with them just looks on. i got rather nervous just sitting here... anyway, i'm feeling so totally out of sync with work! especially without net access at home! i've become so totally dependant on it - its horrible! i'm usually a step ahead of people, now i'm

2002-12-03T22:34:00.000+08:00

Damien just bumped into me while i'm sitting here at GJ (yea, it's becoming a routine). he hijacked my laptop and said something to Mal that got him upset @_@ but it was temporary. Damien's sweet - like a big brother - when he's not teasing the hell outta me. and this time, i'm not blogging this cos he asked me to. tsk.

2002-12-03T22:13:00.000+08:00

all this looking for rich Tan Sri & Dato entrepreneurs is making me $_$. tsk... i'm working on a list of potential interviewees on this tv program i'm working on with Joanna. it's daunting to think that i'll be taking a camera crew in to intrude on the lives and homes of these Malaysian entrepreneurs... but at the same time exciting and challenging! that's what i love about working in tv

2002-12-02T17:33:00.000+08:00

oh... i'm sitting at Gloria Jeans SS2 today. this time with my own WLAN card. tsk.. got a D-Link at RM230 instead. welcome to my "office"... heh.

2002-12-02T17:29:00.000+08:00

omg... i'm hyperventilating from being overwhelmed by projects. right now i feel like a scatterbrain. Bong just sms'd me to meet him Wednesday for "other projects" (omg... there's more?), i've to go to Adwise EARLY tomorrow morning to proof the calendar copy once more and do a storyboard script for them, then zoom down to DV to see Joanna on a doco... i'm waiting for Jeremiah to confirm the UTM

2002-11-30T18:34:00.000+08:00

day three in a cafe - and i already decided to get myself a wireless LAN card! >_< dad's at the PIKOM fair this weekend, so i sms'd him to check out the price of the LAN card. he called me back and reported a Linksys card is going at RM250!!! (normal price RM480) omg! i'm going down to PWTC later after i spend some online time with Mal... < ) i'm such a geek... last night at Elaine's, i found

2002-11-29T18:22:00.000+08:00

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!!! *jumps up and down excitedly* he's coming back two weeks earlier! yay!!! n_n oops... *peeks around* don't want to attract attention here @ starbucks now. hahahaha.... yea, i'm wi-fi hopping! tsk tsk... tonite i'm going to Elaine's place. her parents are in Penang for the weekend, so she got Ju & bf, Kee Yau, Kai Ling and i to go over and watch "Three"... brr.. what's with

2002-11-28T23:03:00.000+08:00

i wonder how much inspiration a writer can get from sitting at a cafe like this. >_< i've been here since 3pm (spent two hours just trying to config this bloody wi-fi thing). and it's getting noisier. i actually heard someone walk by and say "she's still here." tsk... i think i should find a less conspicuous spot next time. except that this is the only (non-smoking) spot with a power-point

2002-11-28T19:02:00.000+08:00

ahh.. bliss! surfing the net with my laptop again... well, maybe not *complete* bliss. i'm not at home. >_< these wi-fi solutions at yuppie coffee places are almost a lifesaver. hahah... actually a yuppier version of cyber-cafes - bring your own laptop and spend RM8 on a cup of coffee/ice-blended. tsk... talking about coffee. unfamiliar to Gloria Jean's, i accidentally ordered myself a mocha

2002-11-26T22:40:00.000+08:00

i have no idea why it's easier getting mad at him these days. i hate this!

2002-11-26T21:23:00.000+08:00

dating an alpha male in an LDR is like studying a freaking John Gray relationship course in long distance!!! urgh! i hate life... *sigh*

2002-11-25T21:02:00.000+08:00

tee-hee-hee... i'm going to be abuzzing with some more writing work the next few weeks. all in the process of pre-pre production. hmm.. just realised learnt there aren't just 3 stages to a production b4 delivery - actually got four-lah! hehe... went to DV today, and i've been handing out some programme treatments around. i feel like i haven't done enough... want to churn out more! O_o all this

2002-11-24T01:41:00.000+08:00

i just met an angel... >_< i'd just got back from Angelus' (2nd) full moon party. he's much bigger from the pictures i first saw of him. and quite heavy too - at 5.5kg! either that or my lost 5kgs means i'm too weak to carry him! lol... he's a darling. just watching him shut his eyes to sleep made me feel amused. he blinks and just gently shuts his eye lids... kinda like in the motion you'd take

2002-11-21T23:03:00.000+08:00

ugh. i think i'm about to kickstart an unwarranted best friend loyalty struggle. >_< all because of Harry Potter tickets! it's like this... Lydia, Sharon and I were supposed to watch Harry Potter today. but Lydia already told me she couldn't make it the night before. so i sms'd Sharon and asked if she could watch it on Sunday arvo, and that i needed to know cos i was going to buy the tickets

2002-11-21T21:37:00.000+08:00

bleh... didn't watch Harry Potter tonite. Lydia had to help her mom with a school play. wanted to get tickets for Sunday's show since i was already in KLCC - but plans got a bit messy. *sigh* don't ask. just getting annoyed with Sharon at the mo'... well, at least lunch at Genki Sushi was good. too good, actually! >_< i think we overdid it with the salmon... can't help it - we're salmon sluts!

2002-11-20T22:20:00.000+08:00

hmm.. i think i feel a little happier... since yesterday. all that running around made me feel a little better - rather than just brooding at home. i had one of those horrid brooding moments monday night. *sigh* yea, me and my "mercurial moods" (Mal's words)... it's not even PMS this time. it was just me when you take the work out of the workaholic! >_< getting all fidgety and with too much time

2002-11-20T21:43:00.000+08:00

just done with a VO recording - some banking prompt jobs... its a little money here and there. heh - scraping the bottom. i'm beginning to really feel the life of a freelancer. doing odd jobs here and there. the really odd one for me at the mo' is having to work with my ex, Jon. the complication here is how we had to break up 3 years ago because my mum hates him... @_@ and also how after we broke

2002-11-17T21:57:00.000+08:00

*sigh* all this discussion with Mal for his Mass Comm paper tomorrow makes me wish i was still in uni. i get so excited when i get the chance to debate an issue or an idea from a particular school of thought. i guess reading Gaarder's books make me crave that even more... if i was given the opportunity to go back, i'd spend my time studying psychology, philosophy, sociology, more mass media

2002-11-17T21:19:00.000+08:00

i've been having a number of strange dreams lately. and as much as other people tend to let them pass, not me. it always end up as some sign related to that person in the dream. one of those dreams involved an ex-bf. i hadn't been talking to this particular ex for quite a while, and only met up with him early this month for a drink with another old friend. that was that, didn't think much of it.

2002-11-14T22:57:00.000+08:00

what is this feeling of helplessness running all over me? the lack of control, the inability to hold what is mine, what i want let me be and forget all else. *sigh*

2002-11-14T20:00:00.000+08:00

went for another food review with Lydia yesterday. yum! Japanese! and more salmon! hahahah.. it must be absolutely sinful to be eating salmon (for FREE) two weeks in a row! we had such a wonderful salmon teriyaki, and a temaki rolled with salmon instead of rice... you wouldn't believe how wonderful the whole meal was! and the japanese straw mushrooms wrapped in beef, the crab miso, huge japanese

2002-11-14T19:37:00.000+08:00

oh gawd... i got out of bed this afternoon with an sms from Mal saying that there's a very interesting post on doxob today. i asked him what it was... and he said there was a thread about me being in a music video! argh! and i thought no one could recognise me... i mean, who watches NTV7 in the middle of the afternoon?! don't these people have to work or go to college? ableh. i haven't even seen

2002-11-10T02:08:00.000+08:00

the cynic is still in the house - tired of life and thinks its a humdrum of nothings. *sigh* i'm in the midst of making a decision about work - my career. and it's quite a pinch. i wish i didn't need to fall in line along with all the drones in life... people who just work till they die, earning cash to buy things they'll only leave behind when they're dead and gone! i'm so tired of it.

2002-11-09T01:03:00.000+08:00

in a less cynical mood... i went food reviewing with Lydia this afternoon. went to this 2 week old place on Jalan Bukit Bintang called Bintang Shack. the place is really nice - they've got this kampung theme going with their deco. its an al-fresco concept with little shacks with tables. there's a seating variety where some tables were low where you could sit on the mats kampung-style as well. the

2002-11-08T23:14:00.000+08:00

the only thing bearing a glimmer of light to my dark shell right now is Fairul having called me today. even if we spoke for a mere 11 mins. gawd, i miss him. he made me remember i have a friend. he seems to be the only one i could always talk to... i wish he wasn't in NZ tho. *sigh* at least he's coming back for good - on Christmas morning. heh. he said "don't you believe in Santa now?" tsk. yea

2002-11-08T22:29:00.000+08:00

bear with me as i blabble like a cynical cow tonite... i'm not feeling exactly on top of the world right now and could just go on with whatever crap that's going on in my head at the mo'... i have no idea what exactly is the matter, all i know is that i've to say this year has been absolutely the most crappiest year i've ever had. it has kind of made me think about what i've been doing all wrong,

2002-11-05T21:47:00.000+08:00

i'm beginning to be too comfortable lazing at home, waking up late that i don't want to work. @_@ tsk tsk tsk... i'm back at the cybercafe again today (amidst all the noise of gamers!!!) trying to get some research done. bleh. client changed some details for the calendar i'm working on. bah! i guess i'll have to decide very soon if i want to go back to production or do more of these little bitty

2002-11-04T20:11:00.000+08:00

gawd, one week without net access at home and i nearly died! i'm surviving tho... @_@ last Saturday, i groggily dragged myself to the living room and dad told me that the desktop had contracted a virus - aaaarggh! no laptop, no desktop... *sigh* worse bit is, after getting the drive reformatted, we had the same problems with the PCMCIA card slot drivers like we did in the beginning. this means

2002-10-26T05:36:00.000+08:00

high high high! heheh... on what? being happy! no, my drink didn't get spiked - i only had ONE vodka lime. unbelievable too, cause i thought it was going to take me at least 3 drinks to be dancing on the podium! heh. danced all night through for almost three hours... whoa... the opening act DJ was pretty good, and Tall Paul wasn't so bad either. hmm... now i'm aching all over... like a workout

2002-10-25T19:13:00.000+08:00

oof! i'm dehydrated from the hot n humid weather - and from last night's cosmopolitans! tsk tsk... had dinner plans at Lianna's, she invited Lydia n I over. after fetching Lydia and we got to Lianna's - she wasn't there! she forgot about us! yea, it wasn't a very nice thing for her to do to us. but that didn't put a damper on our evening out. Lydia and I went n had dinner on our own then

2002-10-24T01:03:00.000+08:00

the air is as chilly as her heart, empty and alone; the moon clouded by sight and nothing could feel right. standing in a sea of rhythms where strings sings melancholy, she wipes the cold tear from her cheeks never again will she feel sorry - for being left alone in clouds of emotions.

2002-10-23T06:35:00.000+08:00

eeck... been playing with a few blog templates. don't like em all. *sigh* i want my laptop! @_@

2002-10-23T04:37:00.000+08:00

Love Song For No One - John Mayer Staying home alone on a Friday Flat on the floor looking back On old love, Or lack thereof After all the crushes are faded And all my wishful thinking was wrong I'm jaded, I hate it I'm tired of being alone So hurry up and get here So tired of being alone So hurry up and get here Searching all my days just to find you I'm not sure who I'm looking for

2002-10-23T04:30:00.000+08:00

[took me almost 4 hours to finish this post...] i just got back from a nice evening with Sharon, and Nick. yea, one of those weeknights at the mamak with friends. =) i like these evenings really. it's usually unplanned - when i'm with Sharon - after sort of a girl's day out, we'd then call Nick to come out after work for his dinner. hehehe.. anyway, finally took my laptop down to Pyramid late

2002-10-21T20:16:00.000+08:00

brrr... played literati with Mal just now. the game's becoming all too freaky for the both of us. it's become some kind of oui ja board. almost. i don't know if you can psychoanalyse the words that we put down as part of our sub-conscious, but we're not the ones picking out the letters from the rack. the last game was pretty explicit. hahah... Mal got scared when he saw the letters "Q N Z MEET".

2002-10-21T18:34:00.000+08:00

i'm beginning to enjoy this time off. heh. not so stressed about things anymore. had a nice talk with dad last night. i guess most of my money worries were caused by all the expectations from them. and i kinda got that cleared. although, i've never been one to ask them for money. i've always been earning my keeps since i was 14. they give me an allowance but i'd never ask for extra. that, i work

2002-10-21T01:00:00.000+08:00

doesn't it make him wonder, why he doesn't hear my voice anymore? doesn't he want to? everything he seems to do these days, just makes me feel more and more distant. i feel like he doesn't care any more. he talks about things like he's so far away. he is, physically. but its further away from thought now. he talks to me like he tip toes around quicksand. i stare at my phone and wish i could pick

2002-10-20T23:22:00.000+08:00

Jostein Gaarder is bloody brilliant! i just finished Solitaire Mystery, with a two day interval in between reading the book. call me a hyppocrite, but i have to say that i'd really make a movie out of the book. i was never an advocate of book adaptations really. but with Gaarder's rich visual descriptions, i'm itching to see it produced. itching to visit Greece and Europe at that, and buying more

2002-10-19T20:20:00.000+08:00

i'm having a very strange conversation with Stephen on MSN right now. about body toxins, poison, cells and keeping em alive. @/@ it all started when i said Sharon's on a carbo diet... hmm... he showed me a pic of his husky he had while in Michigan. OMG! it's such a darling! check out his darling blue eyes... *sigh* i can't wait till i have my own doggie. procastination. i still haven't sent my

2002-10-17T22:47:00.000+08:00

crawled back in to bed at 10am. i got too tired from all the fuss with my laptop, and having to retype that article David gave me to re-edit. looks like i've to bring it to the shop tomorrow... all the way to Pyramid. my handphone woke me up at around 11-ish. it was Ken. usually i'd sleep through it ringing, but this was Ken - my mentor, my si fu! heheheh... he said he got my programmed idea

2002-10-17T08:18:00.000+08:00

worse day of my life!!! my laptop crashed on me... the first time in two years. i've no mood for anything else. i've become too attached to that piece of technology. it was an extension of my life. back to being a paperholic. *sigh*

2002-10-16T19:02:00.000+08:00

hmmm.... what is this? celebrity blogs? Damien(17:02 PM) : hey there chocolate wookie(17:02 PM) : heyo Damien(17:03 PM) : how come i never read bout me in your blogs? me no have the right effect on you hehehehehe - don't add it in now ah chocolate wookie(17:03 PM) : hahahah.. i can always cut n paste this conversation now. ------------------------------------- i've no clue why we're not

2002-10-16T02:48:00.000+08:00

One & Alone Stuttered words, in a universe avast Memories pale in the future, Lovers dream of what is the past Against what is of nature. Always to be alone Made fated by time's labour, Even those who wish of love Will suffer in life's harbour.

2002-10-15T19:41:00.000+08:00

i've decided to bury myself in some books - since Nick says i've too much time to think. bought some yesterday while at Kinokuniya with Sharon. two books on production writing, and Jostein Gaarder's Solitaire Mystery. which reminds me, where the hell is my Sophie's World?! bleh. i think i must've either borrowed it to someone or misplaced it. @/@ spent the evening at KLCC yesterday. i just got

2002-10-15T03:26:00.000+08:00

don't feel so good... want to crawl under the sheets. need someone... <' (

2002-10-15T00:51:00.000+08:00

just watched Mad About Mambo on HBO. three things, i love the Irish accent in the movie, i love Keri Russell's hair and i always wanted to learn to latin dance. hmmm... first time i saw Keri on Felicity (while in Perth), i just had to do something like that. i'm a sucker for curls. had curls when i was a baby, but it grew messy after that - thick, wavy hair with a mind of its own. oh, and the

2002-10-14T09:36:00.000+08:00

i think Moby has the most interesting music videos. "In this world" has those cute little 3D animated creatures in it. i noticed most of the productions in my resume revolve around 3D animation. hmmm... wide awake from 6am. sitting in front of the tv. it's official. couch potato! no, it's not one of those all nighters where i didn't sleep the whole night through. i actually slept too much! yes,

2002-10-13T22:34:00.000+08:00

dammit... i want a dog. i want a darling male golden cocker spaniel who can love me, cuddle up with me, one i can feed, pet, hug... just for company. *sigh* dammit... i've been cussing too much.

2002-10-13T03:44:00.000+08:00

the tip of my tongue's been having this strange quiver for the last week. like the equivalent to a nervous twitch. i don't know what's wrong with me. @/@ well, at least the pain i've been getting in my left knee is almost gone. if not immune to it... commentated for Mass this evening. man, why is it the older i am, the more nervous i get in front of crowds? i feel like i've digressed. i used to

2002-10-12T04:46:00.000+08:00

gawddangit! i hate LDRs - with a passion! *sigh* sat at Echo with kai ling, sharon, elaine and bf kee yau, ben n some others, sipping away on my vodka ribena... just pining. sharon did drag me up to dance. but i didn't last long up there. the dj was good. but i just wasn't up to it. i'm just all yearning and reminiscing... Mal's the one who got me started on all these raves n clubbing. it's weird

2002-10-11T19:21:00.000+08:00

slow day. i think i've slept too much. called voon up this evening. i'm hoping i can get something up by the end of the month. looking at my bank account balance is scaring me. it's friday again. julia's leaving for switzerland tomorrow. elaine and kai ling called me out for tonite. sharon's coming along. well, it beats staying home. *shrug* especially when your bf's thousands of miles away... *

2002-10-10T20:32:00.000+08:00

=D i'm in a better mood today! just played literati on yahoo games with Mal, and juggled another table. strangest thing, i had the letters MAL on the other table and FREEDOM at the table i played with Mal... hahahah... i wonder if that was a sign! *dance*dance* la la laa laa la!

2002-10-10T03:32:00.000+08:00

*laugh* men are such idiots, but i have to admit there's one idiot who's got me all mushed up about him. =) he's a darling when it comes to bringing my feet down to earth, when it comes to putting light into my dark corners and loving me for who i am. i just wish he wasn't so far away. spending hours online with Mal counts for something, especially when we can be so reasonable despite my bouts of

2002-10-09T23:39:00.000+08:00

men! they're all the same. they're either snags, buayas or just protein driven idiots! for one, doxob's become some stupid forum of testosterone overdosed, under-sexed dudes... and it's putting me off! used to like hanging around there for one reason... heh. i also seem to be surrounded by idiots who won't leave me alone. and it's getting annoying. i used to have like so many cool guy friends

2002-10-09T20:16:00.000+08:00

*sigh* i need to learn patience. one thing i lack tremendously. my edginess, short temper and restlessness does not bode well at this moment being in between jobs. i've been too emotional and i need so badly to snap out of it. i just feel like there's no way, that things have become almost impossible. so many should haves and could haves. got an email about a scriptwriting job i tried to pitch

2002-10-08T21:57:00.000+08:00

i am absolutely, positively unhinged! i felt like i could've been a mad woman, road-bully and murderer let loose on the streets today. very irritable. i went to collect my cheque at fe2 this afternoon. got Dino to bring it down. didn't want to go up there. @/@ then went with him to Secret Recipe for lunch. it was a rather 'quiet' lunch... barely said much to Dino. strange moments when you're

2002-10-08T06:34:00.000+08:00

feeling unhinged. very deranged. all that's going thru my head right now is this damn pumpkin eater nursery rhyme... @/@

2002-10-08T05:47:00.000+08:00

i think some people are just born to this life to annoy the hell out of other people. and i don't know why i end up being the annoyed one. i'm grumpy, moody and was in a terribly unusual cussin' mood a while ago. the worse thing is that the height of all annoyance comes from a 15 year old juve. bleh. yes, PMS-ing and hating it. been reading Mal's blog, err... live journal, the last few days.

2002-10-07T08:41:00.000+08:00

hahahah... i'm still awake! i've been fuelled and fired into doing some work. if you can call it work - cos i'm enjoying it! ;) i've just completed documenting three TV program concept proposals. i went for my brother's gig last nite at the Actor's Studio. and sitting there head-banging to the live music just warped me into inspiration capital. i'm always stirred and motivated by music. it's

2002-10-06T03:41:00.000+08:00

*sigh* bored. got a headache. very anti-social. even after coming back from an evening of socializing. hate ppl right now. bleh. all are sheeps.

2002-10-04T15:45:00.000+08:00

gawddammit... h1yfqy8ryy3woafhf!!! O __ O i just got an email from Peter today. ...(a whole lot of work talk here)... anyway, our paths will cross again, when you're not too drunk. grin guy, pete *sigh* was i THAT trashed that night at Elyna's?! =( there goes my track record. dammit. got dragged out of bed by Mal's persistent sms'. i'm just feeling too damn lousy. don't want to leave the house

2002-10-03T23:54:00.000+08:00

slept at 9-ish this morning. after i managed to pull thru an all-nighter being drunk and writing a draft script! i think that's the last time i drink so much b4 rushing a deadline. but Mal kept me company the whole time. even providing a lil' comic relief. *sigh* a darling... morpheuse: i cant stay up without sleep for dat long anymore... midnite_lily79: u going to nap? morpheuse: did that

2002-10-03T02:40:00.000+08:00

got back from the party about almost two hours ago. and i think i'm still a lil high from all that JD coke. the last one i had was pretty potent. didn't seem to see straight. and Trina thought i was flushed. either she couldn't tell i was wearing make-up or something, cos Stephen said i looked fine. heh. Stephen was my 'date' for the night. i had asked Sagau last week, but he said no. it would

2002-10-02T19:57:00.000+08:00

Mal nearly messed up my blog yesterday. or maybe it was more my fault. i had tried to use Blogger's FTP... that meant my site "midnite_lily" being taken by someone else. but things are alrite now. i guess i have to thank my stars that it wasn't anyone else. am going off to Elyna's place for a party now. ex-colleagues and more production people. hmmm... will be back with some more chatter.

2002-10-01T21:57:00.000+08:00

i just got back from MidValley - again. seem to be going there at least once a week lately. hmm... the sign of bumming. or "freeelancing" as Andy would say with a laugh. the most apparent thing with these mall visits is my spending habit. gaah... some retail bug has bitten me, and i think the virus came along with the credit cards! @/@ i actually went to Evita Peroni today and bought myself two

2002-09-30T03:59:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling very quirky-odd today. hearing Mal say "jolly good feel" made me lough out loud hysterically. maybe its from having too much sleep. i couldn't be any more sleepy after being a pig in bed the last two weeks. geezz... so much for re-scheduling my waking hours.

2002-09-27T19:35:00.000+08:00

think i'm just going to be anti-social today. stay at home on a friday nite. hmmm... maybe even finish up with my room - that's beginning to see signs of procrastination. i went to watch Signs with Hj Syam yesterday. i think the film was alrite. nothing to shout about. just thought the facts about the religion bit were all messed up. *shrug* very unusual for a Hollywood film to be blatantly

2002-09-26T06:44:00.000+08:00

alrite, he's got me in tears! i just read Patrick's blog and it's absolutely wonderful news to know baby Angelus is here! CONGRATS you guys! =) mummy and son are doing great. link up to Pat's blog if you just want to know how the young family is doing. =)

2002-09-26T06:18:00.000+08:00

<< It was mesmerising, watching the greenish yellow color stir in the water. The vapours filled the room with a sweet scent, and the morning couldn't have been any colder. I stared at the peach blossom tree from the kitchen window, sipping on my hot peppermint tea. "Ahh... simplicity," I smiled. >> I can't sleep. Just too many things rolling in my head. So I decided to come online. When I

2002-09-23T02:53:00.000+08:00

my days feel empty. and the irony is that i've chose it. i've chosen to be unhappy. but i guess i have to do this for myself. i don't know the reasons, but i've to put my faith in a future i can't see. i didn't want to get out of bed today. i felt content staring at the ceiling. but i knew i had to go to church. i went with my parents to Mass, first time in almost two months sitting in my dad's

2002-09-22T01:25:00.000+08:00

life never gets simpler as you grow older. i'm in another phase of life, standing at a crossroad with a list. where are my priorities? what are my wants? what are my needs? suddenly the comfort zone that i'm in with my career and relationships are shaken. not because of a dilemma, more so because i'm facing another type of identity crisis - being an adult. *sigh* why do i even need to deal with

2002-09-21T06:17:00.000+08:00

i'll never be able to understand how Mal and i can argue for hours - battle it out with words that insult and hurt, philosophize the world's ideals and norms about what our relationship would be, and churn it inside out... and still come out of it stronger. *sigh* life is unfair to me right now. why does someone who seem so right, be so wrong all at once? =~( happy birthday Mal.

2002-09-18T04:35:00.000+08:00

my biological clock is officially upside down again! slept only at 8am yesterday. and now all i see is the length of night. hmmm... went over to Linus' place earlier. he showed me some of his work - including Demolition Frog. i really envy people like this. those with the drive and motivation to produce work from their own initiatives. its a driving force for me to get off my ass and do things

2002-09-17T04:41:00.000+08:00

wow. alrite. someone pinch me. i'm absolutely in a daze right now! i just met up with Patrick on ICQ and he just told me the news. his wife is expecting any day now! Patrick is an old friend from high school. and i remember those early mornings going to school and meeting him at the EPF bus stop. we'd either catch a connecting bus down to school, or at crazy times, walk down the 2km to school.

2002-09-17T03:03:00.000+08:00

went with Sharon to watch xXx at MidValley today. was hesitant to see it cos i was put off by my ex-colleagues drooling over Vin Diesel. @__@ watched it anyway, the way i watch all other films - analyzing it inside out - heh. i liked the CG effects in some of the scenes. and its a film dedicated to the talent and bravado of film stuntmen. watched it wondering if i could ever work on a film...

2002-09-16T04:53:00.000+08:00

<< i lie awake in bed, watching the breeze rushing in, flapping the curtains open. the sunlight peeks curiously through the sliding doors. i turn around and stare at the impression on the bed. "where am i?" i ask myself almost absent-mindedly. Train's Drops of Jupiter is playing in the background. the pillows are scattered on the bed, and the sheets are still warm. i see my clothes lying on the

2002-09-16T00:10:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling utterly cynical today. seems nothing can go right. i've lost my sanity by a thread, and i feel like i could just buy myself a ticket and fly to Auckland to see Mal. that's all i want to do right now. *sigh* reality pulls me down. like an iron strapped to my ankle. i felt relieved when i quit last week. and it was fine for the first few days. but now that i've hit one week and no

2002-09-14T20:43:00.000+08:00

"chaotic memories, all alone in misery stuck in between, moments of cheers and emotions endeared." you don't realise how short life is until you've lost someone. especially someone your age. four days ago, i got a phone call from Sagau abt one of our classmates, Tony, who had commited suicide. i was at the supermarket that morning - already unsual for me to be awake at that hour since i quit my

2002-09-04T00:36:00.000+08:00

i don't know why i feel so lost. i tend to feel like this when i'm home, online and Mal's not. this sort of space makes me think of the things that we used to do - like watching foreign independent films, blowing bubbles in the apartment lane, sitting at A&W brainstorming ideas or just sitting around in his car and talking about everything. it feels like a gap or a void in waking every day

2002-09-03T23:58:00.000+08:00

*blink* sent in my resignation this morning. finally. couldn't make head or tail of my change in demeanour, and coming home almost everyday bitchin about my colleagues doesn't make for good karma. man, why am i even talking like this? so, i got Mal to help me write my resignation letter. i really couldn't do it myself because of all that anger. anyway, i feel kind of at ease now knowing i can be

2002-08-31T17:45:00.000+08:00

*sigh* sometimes i wonder if i'm really being stupid. this whole LDR thing drives me nuts - in the most emotional rollercoaster way. up and down... up and down... up and down... i'm beginning to get nauseatingly sick! and why do it stick to it? someone give me a hammer, pls? seems quite pathetic being at home right now. ironically, having my own car but having no where to go. well... not yet at